my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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