You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
