Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My vagina is officially offended.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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