so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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