Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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