Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
