I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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