i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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