every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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