she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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