Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
