Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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