There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
