Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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