Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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