i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
