i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
