He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
