my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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