I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
