you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize