i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
