Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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