MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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