it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My dick has a subreddit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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