I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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