I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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