with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
...so i touched it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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