What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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