you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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