I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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