Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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