I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
