i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
