Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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