called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize