I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
