So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
