So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
