i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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