i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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