Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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