Me too!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
