If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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