clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
