I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Say something about gay babies.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
