I think I am morally bankrupt
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
