Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
