kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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