ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
