hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
