You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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