Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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