Porn is love you can see.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
