I think im going to throw up on grandma
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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