Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
