somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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