I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
