So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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