You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
