I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it because I queefed?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
