Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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