This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
