I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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