I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
