If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
