If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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