Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
