Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
