i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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