I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
