so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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