I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
