not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Did you just see the Batmobile???
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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