It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
