did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
