I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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