Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
