you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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