she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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