what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
